Dream Daddy is the dating simulator and visual novel where players can make their own dad-sona, and then go on to date any one of seven fellow dads. One such dad is Joseph Christiansen. He’s the stereotypical suburban-Dad-slash-youth-minister.
But unlike most of the other dad-dating candidates of the game, Joseph has a unique twist to his dateline: he’s still married. Indeed, Joseph is the only not-so-eligible bachelor of the game, but that won’t stop players from seducing him if they so wish. So, here’s a short guide on how to romance Joseph.
Likes and Dislikes
Joseph is as pure-hearted a Dad as they come, and his likes and hobbies reflect this. He adores simple things like baking and boating alongside his children and wife. And surprisingly enough, there’s very little that Joseph dislikes. His biggest aversion is conflicting with others, so perhaps he dislikes disliking? Plain and kind through and through, it won’t be hard to woo this Daddy.
Date One: Brownie Bake-Off
Date number one is the perfect place for players to show off their own baking skills, as it’ll be a brownie sale. The whole debacle will kick off with Joseph’s twins, Christie and Christian, who put off a vibe unsettlingly similar to the pair from The Shining. But like most other kids at the sale, they’re harmless, so Joseph will appreciate it if players support their behaviors.
When it comes to the actual brownie making, showing enthusiasm is obviously best for this baker-in-the-making, as is following the recipe to a tee. Then comes the last section of the date, which involves selling the sweets to other Dads. Avoiding Brian’s competitiveness and successfully convincing Craig to buy will win some brownie points with Joseph. And with that, players will be closer to winning his heart. As the last choice puts it, “brownies fix everything,” after all.
Date Two: Dancy Pants
Date two will be a little churchly dance party, and it’s best to lean pious when decorating for the event. But what’s a dance party without a good DJ? It’ll be best if players show Joseph their prim and polite side and pay proper respect to this party’s own Spinmaster, Quinn (and wife Sandra).
Players will also be encouraged to bust a move or two of their own, alongside Joseph. They can choose from a variety of cringeworthy, Dad-ly dance moves, but only a specific few will earn the admiration of Joseph. In order, they are The Lawnmower, the Sprinkler, the Cabbage Patch, the Moonwalk, and the Death Drop. This combo will guarantee that the crowd goes wild. And afterward, the Dad-sona and Joseph can refresh with some margaritas and daydream of sandy holidays.
Easter Egg: Dance ‘Til You’re Dead
All of Dream Daddy is peppered with Easter eggs, some hilarious and others morbid. Among the more morbid secrets is the ability to die on certain dates, and Joseph’s second date is one of them. Pulling off the worst moves while dancing will lead to the player’s untimely demise, though after a grim scene, they’ll reset back to before their morbid choices. For those eager to try this out, the worst moves are as follows: the Worm, the Windmill, Twerking, and an Unrehearsed Backflip. Have fun!
Date Three: Set Sail for Romance
Every Dad, outside their biggest gimmick, has a side-love or hobby they enjoy partaking in. Joseph’s big hobby is boating. For this third and final date, he’ll invite players out on a small cruise via his private yacht. Responding with enthusiasm to boating and the sea is best.
Once out at sea, Joseph and the players can sit back, relax, and enjoy a bit of alcohol amongst themselves. Joseph takes after his wife in this regard, having a fondness for wine. He’ll appreciate it if the enthusiasm is shared, with gusto. Then, the date will move onto discussions about boating itself. Players will have the option to help Joseph finally give his beloved boat a proper name. And should players pick a slightly raunchy title, he’ll let his proper persona slip, appreciating the inappropriate name.
Alas, Joseph is still a married man, and despite his frequent romping with players, he’ll ultimately stay loyal to his wife. He already cheated on her once with fellow dad Robert, and he won’t do so again. So the end of this third date is the end of any romantic possibilities with him. But still, players will get a nice pin-up as a fond farewell!
Secret Ending: Escape From Margarita Zone
Originally removed from the game then added back as an Easter egg, Joseph has a very secret, and very dark ending (though also extremely non-canon). In order to unlock this ending, players will need to meet some prerequisites, namely in how they build their Dad-sonas. Only one combination will unlock the ending: the Thick Tank Body, Oval Head, Balding Hair, Wide Eyes, Roman Nose, Cheese Mouth, Wizard Brows, No Facial Hair, Pilot Glasses, No Piercings, Tommy Bananas Suit, and the name “Jimmy Buffett.” Skin, hair, and eye color don’t affect anything, nor do any other decisions through his dates.
Because after the third date, a new cutscene will play. And as it turns out, Joseph is the leader of a secret, demonic cult. This entire ending requires no choices or decisions on the players’ part, and is one wild ride from beginning to end. And for anyone eager to have a hint of darkness to their dating simulator, it’ll always be here, hidden away behind specific character creation combos and a smiling, suburbia Daddy.
